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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945785">Broken minds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolute_flaming_trash/pseuds/Absolute_flaming_trash'>Absolute_flaming_trash</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel0sh/pseuds/Angel0sh'>Angel0sh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cheating, Dacryphilia, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Graphic Rape, Hisoka's Bungee Gum Nen Ability (Hunter X Hunter), Holy shit this gets dark, Manga Spoilers, Manipulation, Mindbreak, Power Imbalance, Rape, Restraints, hisoka being a creep, noncon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:35:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945785</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolute_flaming_trash/pseuds/Absolute_flaming_trash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel0sh/pseuds/Angel0sh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You’ve never been into fights or enjoyed watching them , but he was an exception. Sweaty nervous hands clutching your skirt approaching your favorite heaven arena fighter. “Will you go out with me ?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Wide awake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'm wide awake<br/>
I'm wide awake</p><p>When did it start ? How did the time merge so fast , you couldn't decipher it anymore ?</p><p>You've known him for so little time , yet it feels like forever. The moment your eyes met, even in your own memory you feel the time stop</p><p>His golden eyes looking at you curiously , eyeing you up and down as you approached him blushing. </p><p>You've seen him before. Hisoka Morow , the famous champion of Heaven Arena. A place you never thought you'd step a foot in until your friends dragged you there. </p><p>You've seen him fight his way to the top. You used to go because your friend made you , but how did it end up with you being his fan ?</p><p>His tickets were the hardest to come by , yet you couldn't stop yourself from spending paychecks on them. The disappointment of him not showing made you promise yourself to never go , yet again you go. He was simply too good to miss. </p><p>I'm wide awake<br/>
Yeah, I was in the dark<br/>
I was falling hard<br/>
With an open heart<br/>
I'm wide awake<br/>
How did I read the stars so wrong</p><p>His eyes were piercing you as he tapped his feet impatiently. You had to do it now. There's no knowing when you'll ever see him again. </p><p>"I'm a huge fan of you ! I've seen every one of your fights, and I don't know if you have someone ! But ..."</p><p>The words flew from your mouth so fast , you had to say them without thinking. If you think , you'll stop. </p><p>You swallowed nervously. </p><p>"Would you go out with me ?"</p><p>A chuckle took you by surprise. You felt your cheeks heat up,  as your head lowered in shame. </p><p> He's laughing at you. Of course he is, what did you expect ? For him to hug you close and admit his love for you ? That he noticed you watching him in every match and fell for you ?</p><p>As your tears formed in your eyes , the laughing stopped and noises of heels clicking took it place. </p><p>Your chin was raised as you met his eyes again. His melted gold eyes shone with amusement  accompanied with his signature smile. </p><p>"Amuse me , and I might ♦️"</p><p>I'm wide awake<br/>
And now it's clear to me<br/>
That everything you see<br/>
Ain't always what it seems<br/>
I'm wide awake<br/>
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long</p><p> </p><p>You stood in front of the mirror looking at yourself bitterly; how did he enchant you like that ? You were so far gone you ignored every warning sign even when it hit you in the face. Literally. </p><p>Your first "date" if you could call it that was unusual to say the least </p><p>You tried so hard to look as pretty as you can. You even bought new clothes and spent more time on a makeup tutorial than you care to admit. </p><p>He had texted you about his upcoming fight, naturally you already bought tickets to it before it's sold out. He wanted you watching from his room.</p><p>The tickets were pretty expensive but it also meant you could sell them and get a decent profit thanks to the limited number of them. </p><p>You walked nervously into Heaven's Arena, displaying your ID at the receptions who allowed you in. Hisoka already gave you a copy of his keys, which surprised you with how sudden it was. Then you laughed , what would you do ? Hurt him ? The idea alone was laughable </p><p>Reaching his room , you felt a sharp intense pain as your neck twisted painfully with a loud smack noise deafening your ears. </p><p>"You whore , you thieving whore ! He's mine. How dare you !"</p><p>Wish I knew then<br/>
What I know now<br/>
Wouldn't dive in<br/>
Wouldn't bow down<br/>
Gravity hurts<br/>
You made it so sweet<br/>
Till I woke up on<br/>
On the concrete</p><p>Closing the door while breathing heavily , you felt yourself shake with the amount of energy it took you to slam the door in her face and lock it. </p><p>Your cheek stung as you looked around at his place. It was quite fancy, which was expected from Heaven's Arena undefeated champion's rooms. </p><p>Your shaky hands turned on the tv as you headed to the kitchen looking for ice. Opening the freezer , you found tubs of ice cream and ice. You grabbed the ice while eyeing the neapolitan ice cream. </p><p>You were tempted, but you felt rude enough helping yourself to his ice. You didn't want your cheek to swell on your important date. </p><p>Hearing the excited announcement ,with the ice pack in hand you rushed to the TV. He was there in all his full glory with some powerful guy you never cared about. </p><p>The fight was similar to Hisoka's usual ones. He loved to spend time teasing and messing with his opponents. The death came in too quick after<br/>
he managed to land a hit on Hisoka's face, resulting in him being shredded with a stream of cards that came out of nowhere. </p><p>Closing the door , checking your face again , retouching your makeup , and changing your posture to your best abilities. You're going to look your best no matter what. </p><p>The loud noise of the door opening shocked you , being pinned out of nowhere on the sofa terrified you , seeing Hisoka's excited face aroused you as his hands started touching you all over while the other started ripping the clothes off of you. </p><p> </p><p>Falling from cloud nine<br/>
Crashing from the high<br/>
I'm letting go tonight<br/>
I'm falling from cloud nine</p><p>Every single part of you ached. You've never been taken like that , so passionately and with great urgency. His deep alluring voice whispering in your ear; dragging you from the pain and pleasure. You were overwhelmed not only by his body , but also his words and whispers. </p><p>Feeling him shifting from atop of you as he walked naked to the phone. He looked at you with a satisfied smile as you tried to move after such a rough session. </p><p>Standing up wobbling , his voice faltered as you walked to the bathroom. looking at him , you noticed him glaring at your cheek, your hand went immediately to touch it earning a wince. </p><p>He slowly and predatorily approached and you could do nothing but stare. </p><p>"Who did this ♠️?"</p><p>"A woman slapped me when she saw me unlocking the door , she said I stolen you from her"</p><p>Your eyes lowered in embarrassment. That's not something to mention after you spent the night with someone. </p><p>Chuckles caught you off guard </p><p>"Ahh ! My little fruits tend to be a little too excited about me ♥️ you'll forgive them, won't you ♣️ ?"</p><p> </p><p>I'm wide awake<br/>
Not losing any sleep<br/>
Picked up every piece<br/>
And landed on my feet<br/>
I'm wide awake<br/>
Need nothing to complete myself, no</p><p>It wasn't the last time it happened though. He was rarely around , and when he was he didn't want to do anything but have sex. </p><p>Whenever you did anything else , "little fruits" as he called them would attack you. Verbal and sometimes physical abuse towards you ruined the mood for you. </p><p>He didn't seem to care much , in fact he always looked amused. Today wasn't any different. He sent you a ticket to his new match with a keycard to his new suite in h]Heaven Arena's. You stopped buying tickets since he always sent you one. </p><p>It didn't take a genius to know , he either wanted you to patch him up or looking for a quick fuck. His matches always leave him hurt and aroused. </p><p>Why were you okay with this again ? Why can't you say no ? You knew it wasn't healthy but you can't help it. You're addicted to him now. </p><p>I'm wide awake<br/>
Yeah, I am born again<br/>
Out of the lion's den<br/>
I don't have to pretend<br/>
And it's too late<br/>
The story's over now, the end</p><p>Going to the match a lot earlier as usual, Heaven Arena's had a first come first serve rule on the seats. It became a habit for you to come hours earlier to book a decent seat. </p><p>His rival was someone he already defeated in the past so it should be okay. Not like he would lose or anything. </p><p>The noises of people slowly pouring distracted you from the nagging pain in your chest. Was this what you wanted ? A once every few weeks fuck or dinner if you're lucky ?</p><p>The match started as usual , Hisoka observing and letting his opponent take shots at him while he taunted them. The sudden severing of Hisoka's arm made you scream so loud , yet it was drowned by the screams of the entire stadium. </p><p>Hisoka was smirking and even offered him the other arm. What is he thinking ? </p><p>You felt yourself trumble as tears swelled in your eyes , how can he fight without arms? Will he bleed to death ? Why is he happy about it ?! </p><p>I wish I knew then<br/>
What I know now<br/>
Wouldn't dive in<br/>
Wouldn't bow down<br/>
Gravity hurts<br/>
You made it so sweet<br/>
Till I woke up on<br/>
On the concrete</p><p>You sat next to him in shock as you watched the<br/>
beautiful pink haired lady do her magic. She didn't seem to care you're watching. Her movements were fast and graceful before she finished and demanded her payment. </p><p>"Would you spend the night with me ♥️?"</p><p>You felt like you couldn't breath. Did you just hear that ? Her eyes drifted to you as she ignored him and left. </p><p>"Pity ♠️"</p><p>He looked at you with disappointment in his eyes before he smiled again. You stood back slowly heading to the door. </p><p>Where were you headed at this hour ? You can't stay with him ! He asked another woman right in front of you ! </p><p>A firm hand gripped you as you felt your blood freeze. </p><p>"Where do you think you're going ♠️?"</p><p>Trying to break free from his grip , the painful lump in your throat making it impossible to breathe normally let alone talk. His hand only gripped you tighter as you started fighting to let go. </p><p>His face frowned at you trying your hardest to shake him off. Who did you think you were ? You knew you couldn't win against him , you saw all his fights ! The rational part in your brain didn't work. </p><p>All those women ? They weren't some crazy fans ? He's been cheating on you ? Does he even see you as more than a sex doll ?</p><p>A scream tore through your silent tears. He pinned you roughly over the table next to him. His face changed from the usual frown to something more sinister. </p><p>"Go on , fight me ♦️"</p><p>Thunder rumbling<br/>
Castles crumbling<br/>
I am trying to hold on<br/>
God knows that I tried<br/>
Seeing the bright side<br/>
But I'm not blind anymore<br/>
I'm wide awake<br/>
I'm wide awake</p><p>Every single muscle in your body hurt. Even the roots of your hair felt like hell. Your throat was dry and so were your eyes. </p><p>How did this happen ? Why did your innocent crush turn to this ? Weren't you enough for him ? Did your pain excite him that much ?</p><p>He left after the pink haired girl as soon as he was finished with you. Is that really the last time you'd see him ? </p><p>It's okay you'll gather your pieces and move on. At least that's what you tell yourself every time you go and bandage him. Every time he has his way with you. </p><p>When you heard about his fight with chrollo you refused to go; still traumatized from the last night at his Heaven Arena's place , you simply couldn't. You still watched him on the TV and went the next day after he cooled off. It'll be the same thing over and over. </p><p>Why can't you just say no ? Will you only escape him through death ? </p><p>Death , it made you laugh. Hisoka dying ? The idea of it seems so far fetched. He was so strong. Too strong. </p><p>Wait , did his hand just explode ? His legs too ? Hisoka ? </p><p>I'm wide awake<br/>
I'm wide awake<br/>
I'm wide awake<br/>
I'm wide awake<br/>
I'm wide awake</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Mind Games</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Following the aftermath of Hisoka's match with Chrollo, you come to terms with your grief and consequences of holding on for so long. Chapter written by @Absolute_Flaming_Trash.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This took me forever, enjoy 3.4k words of suffering. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>“Hey babe, thinking of you…”  - Tuesday, 9:43am</i><br/>
<i>“Missing you today. I know that’s stupid though.” - Wednesday, 11:25pm</i><br/>
<i>“Passed by the Arena today. I wish you were still here.” - Today, 1:02pm</i>
</p><p>You knew it was ridiculous doing what you were doing. Texting him nearly everyday.</p><p>You had gotten a hold of his phone company and kept the bill paid so the number wouldn’t be recycled. On bad days, where the pain of missing him was almost too much for you to bear, you would call and listen to his voicemail recording.</p><p>
  <i>“Hisoka The Magician, leave a message and I... may get back to you ~♤”</i>
</p><p>That’s all it was. Short and to the point, nothing special about it at all.</p><p>Yet it always made you cry just hearing his voice again. Hearing the lilt in his tone, the familiar drawl when he was doing something he thought was tedious.</p><p>Crazy how it was the small details like that that you missed the most. You would give anything in the world just to hear his voice in person again.</p><p>You tucked your phone back into your pocket, wrapping your arms around your torso in a self-hug; shivering from the cold gust of wind that whipped against you harshly.<br/>
Winter was heavy in the air, a frown tugging at your lips when you thought about the crunch of the frost between the cobblestones underneath your feet.</p><p>Winter…</p><p>Had it already been six months since that day?</p><p>You let out a shaky exhale, annoyed at yourself when you felt the familiar burn of tears sting your eyes. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the previous times though.</p><p>You were familiar with having to numb yourself to deal with the emotional pain.</p><p>Your lips quivered for a brief moment before you pushed down the sadness in your chest with a sigh, a puff of condensation from your breath floating up into the winter air as you continued on down the path in the graveyard.</p><p>It was a familiar route to you now, navigating past the other headstones on a form of autopilot. You would occasionally glance over and read the short yet loving messages of grieving family members carved into the stone.</p><p>
  <i>‘Loving Husband and Father’</i>
</p><p>
  <i>‘Honored Friend and Mother’</i>
</p><p>
  <i>‘Beloved Daughter and Niece’</i>
</p><p>Your eyes focused back on the path ahead of you as it turned from cobblestone to dirt when you made a brief turn.</p><p>You were almost there. You could see it now.</p><p>The headstone was already beginning to see signs of aging, the once pristine grey now tinged a slight brown from being left out in the open. The flowers you had left from your last visit were now dry and shriveled, adding to the somber feeling as you finally reached the grave.</p><p>
  <i>‘Hisoka Morow’</i>
</p><p>That was it. No loving message, no concise summary of who he used to be.</p><p>Just a name.</p><p>His funeral hadn’t been anything spectacular either. You half-smiled for a quick moment, recalling the irony of such an… outlandish man having a funeral as drab as he did. To be fair it wasn’t his fault though.</p><p>You cringed every so slightly at that, knowing in a way that was a lie. It wouldn’t have mattered how extravagant his funeral was, you were the only person who had showed up to it. You and a man with long black hair and soulless eyes.</p><p>You had asked him who he was, having never seen him before and Hisoka never mentioning him to you before. He introduced himself as an associate of Hisoka’s, and then simply asked when the will was going to be read.</p><p>You were too shocked to say anything in that moment, realizing how truly awful Hisoka really must have been if you were the only person to show up who cared. Not even his old fans, or his fruits as he used to say. They had all moved on to other fighters in the Arena.</p><p>Despite everything he had done to you, that still broke your heart.</p><p> </p><p>If texting his old number wasn’t bad enough, you would visit his grave and talk to the headstone like he was still there. It would be about anything and everything. What you had done that day, your plans with old friends you reconnected with, what you were planning to make for dinner that night...</p><p>But this needed to stop.</p><p>“Hey Hiso.” Your voice was a whisper as you spoke, hands clenching into fists to fight the turmoil of emotions that surged through you. “Sorry I haven’t been visiting as much lately… I haven’t been feeling too great.”</p><p>You wanted to kick yourself. You were still making excuses for him. You laughed at yourself slightly, looking up at the sky in order to keep the tears in your eyes from falling. “Okay… yeah, that was a lie. I’ve just been…” you trailed off, unsure of how to word your thoughts properly. “I’ve been thinking about you, well <i>us</i> really.”</p><p>You brought your eyes back down to the headstone, stepping closer to pick up the dead flowers, fidgeting with the dead petals that crumbled instantly in your fingers. “I need to stop this, Hiso. I need to stop coming here.”</p><p>You sniveled, quickly wiping the tears that began to fall with frustration; your emotions beginning to boil over the more you spoke. “I can’t keep holding on to you, you’re <i>dead</i> for God’s sake.”</p><p>“I don’t know why I still am, you were… awful. You were just so awful to me, and for no reason at all. You hit me, you cheated on me, you-” You stopped yourself, gritting your teeth and screwing your eyes shut when you recalled the painful experiences he put you through. What he had done to not only your mind, but your body.</p><p>A shaky exhale escaped you as you reopened your eyes, allowing the numbness to come back; refilling the void in your chest that he had created. “This is my last time seeing you. After today I’m not going to come here again, I’m not going to text you again, I’m moving on.”</p><p>You said that last part with enough conviction that you even believed it.</p><p>“I know you can’t hear me anymore, but I still had to tell you. To say something to you. It wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t.”</p><p>You wiped the last few tears from your face, remnants of the petals smearing onto your cheeks. You opened your mouth briefly before quickly closing it, thinking better of that decision.</p><p>Even to a grave, there were some secrets you would keep to yourself.</p><p>You placed a hand on the cold stone one last time, taking in the rough texture under your fingers. Something you were sure you would miss, as odd as that was.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>You had to force yourself not to look back as the distance between you and the headstone grew more and more. The crunch of frost covered grass turning to the clock of your shoes on the cobblestone as you made your way back to your car, pulling your phone back out once again. You opened up your contacts, hovering over his name a second too long than you would have liked to admit.</p><p>With a press of a button the name vanished, and you felt the world lift off your shoulders.</p><p>------</p><p>It was hard moving on, but you began to feel better. You found yourself smiling more than you used to, and becoming more social with your old friends.</p><p>It had only been a few days, but the difference was staggering. Things were beginning to look up again.</p><p>Until you got a text.</p><p>
  <i>‘Hello, darling’</i>
</p><p>You had frozen in your tracks when walking home, your hand beginning to tremble slightly as you stared down at the unknown number on your phone. Only one person ever called you that…</p><p>You typed back your response hastily, asking who they were and if they possibly had the wrong number. It just had to be a cruel coincidence, right?</p><p>The number never responded. You let out a sigh of relief as you walked up the steps to your home and unlocked your door, the rush of the warmth from your home making your cheeks flush from the change in temperature.</p><p>You shrugged off your jacket and pulled your phone from its pocket, staring at the screen again. Part of you wanted the number to text again, the curiosity beginning to get the better of you, but you immediately squashed that idea; deleting the text and opening up a different section of your contacts, dialing your favourite take out place. It would be better if you forgot the incident entirely.</p><p>-----</p><p>
  <i>Unknown Number: ‘I’m here’</i>
</p><p>You arched an eyebrow at the text. A little ominous for a delivery person, expecting that they would knock rather than text, but you brushed it off; more focused on your hunger than the weird texting habits of a stranger.</p><p>You grabbed your wallet, pulling out some bills as you walked towards your door. “Hey, thanks for making it so quick, I hope it wasn’t any-”</p><p>The words died on your tongue when you opened the door.</p><p>No…</p><p>You had to be seeing things. You <i>HAD</i> to be, right??</p><p>Leaning against your door frame with that lazy smile on his face was a ghost.</p><p>“Hello, my dear.~♢”</p><p>Your wallet dropped to the floor, forgotten as the tears filled your eyes and your thoughts began to race. Your breaths came in quick, shuddering gasps, the bombardment of emotions you were feeling all at once immediately overwhelming you. </p><p>Everything was fuzzy. You felt dizzy. You didn’t know what to do. You had so many questions.</p><p>“H-how?”</p><p>The single word was barely audible as you stood there shaking, still not believing your eyes. Hisoka smiled openly, pushing himself off the frame and walking towards you, inviting himself inside your home.</p><p>“What can I say, darling? You’re too irresistible to stay away from. ~♡” He cooed, taking your face in his hands, kicking the door shut behind him.</p><p>You flinched at his touch, the memory of what those hands had done still fresh in your mind after all this time. You wrenched yourself away, stumbling backwards as your breaths came in more panicked; running your hands through your hair in disbelief, unable to take your eyes off the man now standing in your hallway.</p><p>You shook your head in denial, placing a hand on the wall to steady yourself, the corners of your vision beginning to darken. You were going to faint.</p><p>“You’re dead… you were dead. I saw you die, I saw your body!” You screamed at the end of the sentence, the tears now pouring down your face in a never ending cascade. “You were dead… you were dead,” you kept repeating the words to yourself, mumbling as the confusion of what you thought you knew and reality crashing together became too much. You crumpled to the floor, heaving sobs wracking your body.</p><p>
  <i>What was going on????</i>
</p><p>The click of his heels on the floor grew louder as he approached your form, his hands coming under your chin as he knelt in front of you. Your eyes shone from the tears and the utter confusion that you couldn’t even begin to work through.</p><p>You both stared at each other for a moment before you finally found enough coherence to ask what you finally wanted.</p><p>“How are you alive?”</p><p>His eyes widened in excitement, crawling on top of you despite your hands pushing against his chest in protest. He ran his nails down your face, taking in the tear streaks and redness surrounding your eyes.</p><p>“A magician never reveals his secrets, don’t you remember darling? ~♤”</p><p>You couldn’t help the whimpering sob that left you at that before his lips collided with you in a wet, harsh kiss that was all teeth. Your hands batted uselessly at his shoulders, unable to push the hunk of a man off of you as he caged you with his body.</p><p>“No…. please don’t…. Stop….” you mumbled between his kisses, air being deprived from your lungs between your shuddering sobs and his lips smothering yours. The darkness at the edge of your vision was worsening between the lack of oxygen and the emotional blow dealt to you.</p><p>You were gasping when he finally pulled back, taking advantage of your stunned state to begin removing your clothing from your body; peeling your shirt off with ease and tossing it to some unknown corner in the hallway.</p><p>“I’ve missed you, my little fruit, I’m hurt.~♤” You stared up at him blearily, your confusion only worsening. “Visiting me for so long only to leave me, that wasn’t very kind of you now was it?~♤”</p><p>You shook your head, tears of denial springing to your eyes. No, he had it all wrong. You were sorry, you had told him that!</p><p>Well… you told his grave anyways, but he was watching! He had to have known.</p><p>His nails… no. His claws were unbearably sharp as they ran up and down the sensitive skin of your thigh, teasing you as he made his way closer to the junction between your legs. Any effort you made to close them was met by his hands harshly prying you apart before he continued with his task.</p><p>“Now now, darling, I thought you missed me?~♤” He taunted, his voice sickeningly sweet as he tilted his head slightly, his eyes widening when your eyes met him in a glare.</p><p>“Ooohhhh do keep making that face, it’s getting me all excited!~♢” His words were emphasized by the sound of the waistband of your pants tearing and his hips grinding against yours, painfully so.</p><p>“How dare you say I didn’t miss you… after what you did!” Your voice was meant to sound angry, threatening even, but it sounded more apprehensive than anything else. “I texted you… I visited you… how could you do this to me?”</p><p>He paused briefly as he reached to pull your now ruined underwear off you, his already wide eyes flashing with something that sent a chill down your spine as he lowered his face to yours until he was barely an inch away from you.</p><p>“Because I could.~♢”</p><p>You had never understood true fear until that moment as the last shred of your modesty was ripped from you and thrown carelessly somewhere in the room. Your eyes watered with fresh tears as he gripped your throat, his other came to rest between your legs, stroking your folds lightly with two fingers.</p><p>His moan was obnoxiously loud, did he have no shame at all?</p><p>If it were any other situation you would have laughed at yourself...</p><p>Of course he had no shame. He was Hisoka.</p><p>Shame didn’t exist to him.</p><p>“I wanted to see how quickly my little fruit would move on from me, all the rest did so quickly, but not you.~♧” He continued to run his fingers up and down your slit, gathering the small bit of wetness that had formed and spreading it up to your clit before rubbing in harsh yet teasing circles before dipping down again. Your hands gripped the wrist of the hand on your throat, trying desperately in vain to pull it off of you. He only gripped tighter, relishing in the choked gag that left your swollen lips, chuckling.</p><p>“You even kept my phone bill paid for me, now that was truly adorable.~♢” He gave no indication of warning when he pressed one of his fingers into your tight hole, his jaw dropped mockingly when yours did in a silent shriek before his lips curled back up into a smirk. “Tell me, darling, did you ever call when you were needy? Did you touch yourself to the sound of my voice? You naughty little thing, you~♢”</p><p>You shook your head frantically, as much as you could while your throat was being squeezed by the maniac on top of you; gagging when felt the bones in your neck grind together as he tightened his hold even further.</p><p>You barely registered the admonishing click of his tongue as your vision began to fade into black.</p><p>“Don’t you remember when I’ve said you’re a terrible liar? Because you truly are, darling.~♤” His grip on your neck only slacked slightly, but it was enough for you to gulp in air greedily, sputtering as your lungs burned from the new influx of air you desperately needed. It was quickly interrupted when he curled his fingers inside of you, making you yelp at the sudden stretch. You were so focused on your need for oxygen that you nearly forgot about the horrors of the situation you were in.</p><p>You kicked at him, bucking your hips in an attempt to get him off of you. Away from you. But it just made it worse, each tilt of your hips involuntarily moving his fingers deeper inside you.</p><p>It was agony.</p><p>Your hands flew at him, slapping, punching, scratching; anything and everything you could think of. Hisoka sighed dramatically, withdrawing his fingers from your core and gathering your hands in his and pinning them beside your head.</p><p>His fingers were linked with yours in a cruel form of mock intimacy, his forearms pinning yours down painfully as he restrained the rest of you with his weight. You had forgotten how heavy he was.</p><p>You could do nothing as he pressed his pelvis to yours, the friction of his clothing providing another form of pain to your most sensitive area, forcing you to bite your lip in order to prevent the yelp that wanted to escape you. You refused to give him any more satisfaction from your pain.</p><p>This was, however, a luxury that he was determined to deprive you of.</p><p>“Keep hiding your noises, my dear, and I’ll make you wish I was truly dead.~♤”</p><p>Despair, a feeling that you had grown distant to lately, crept back into your chest like an old friend… one you weren’t very fond of, unfortunately.</p><p>But what did that matter.</p><p>It only worsened when he lifted his hands from yours, leaving your hands stuck to the floor.</p><p>
  <i>‘Bungee gum… how could you forget’</i>
</p><p>
  He slid the waistband of his pants down, his erection springing free; the tip of his cock an angry red from how swollen it was and drooling with pre-cum.
</p><p>
Something inside of you snapped and you began thrashing like you never had before, the sound of screaming filling the room. Screams of fear, screams of begging, screams of loss. None of which were coherent as they mixed with your sobs.
</p><p>
 “Enough! ~♤”
</p><p>
You would be more terrified of ever hearing him raise his voice, something so rare you had never experienced it before, if you hadn’t been distracted by the back of his hand connecting with your cheek.
</p><p>
Your ears rung as pain bloomed across your face, disorienting you. It hurt, but not nearly as much as the sharp pinching, tearing sensation of Hisoka pushing into you.<br/>
You thought you knew agony before, but this was so much worse.
</p><p>
  The amount of sensations became too much, jumbling all together in a confusing mess that you were unable to handle.
</p><p>
  So you laid there, hands uselessly pinned by your head by his nen, clothes torn to ribbons by your body as Hisoka began to use you for his own pleasure; his own twisted form of a ‘Welcome Home’ present. Each snap of his hips against yours jostled your body against the floor, the smell of iron heavy in the air the longer his assault led on; the soundtrack of your suffering attributed to his own moans of ecstasy.
</p><p>
 You could only look up at him blankly, your mind wandering in its attempt to cope. You took in how his hair began to fall into his face from its usual style, giving him more of an unhinged look. How the edges of his eyes crinkled slightly when he smiled at you.
</p><p>
You forgot how pretty monsters could smile.
</p><p>
 “Oooohhh darling, what did I say about staying quiet? ~♤”

</p><p>
  God, you wish you could say what you wanted. To tell him you hated him.
</p><p>
But it was as he had said before.
</p><p>
You were a terrible liar.
</p><p>
So instead you succumbed to him, and the events he had in store for you. The night was young, after all.
</p>
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